You Are A Pirate
by Resluver1912
Summary: Romano wonders where the hell Spain goes when he leaves and doesn't come back for weeks. One day after breaking something, he decides to ask him. It shouldn't be anything bad, right? SPAMANO Fail summary is fail i make films not summaries rated T for Romano's clean language. Tiny hint of USUK if you squint. Requested fic.


** So this fic here is a one-shot request by Soriyama who was my 110th reviewer for "Zero Tolerance" :) they wanted a Pirate!Spain related fic so here it is ^^ hopes its to you're liking.**

–

Romano was outside lying on the grass. He had decided to take a siesta instead of cleaning. It was a nice day outside anyway. Not to hot but not cold either, a welcoming breeze flew over him rustling the tall grass he placed himself in. He hadn't seen Spain in a week, though he was glad for it, he actually wondered where the Spaniard had gone. This was normal at this point for the boy. He always left to do God knows what God knows where. He never told him either, he would just get up and leave, always expecting for Romano to keep the place in top shape.

"Bullshit." He muttered to himself. He closed his eyes and let his bare feet sink with the grass.

He had lived with the Spaniard for years now. From when he was a child, now he was an adolescent. Well, in human years anyway. He wasn't entirely sure what the man did when he left. Obvious important nation related stuff was his guess. Unless, you know...he left to find some rare tomatoes to add to his collection of the red fruit. Yea, he said fruit. Romano ALWAYS knew that the damn things were fruit. Stupid people..But what did he know? He was just allowed to clean his house and do whatever he commanded. It used to bother him to no end but he has come to terms with his fate. God willed him to work under Spain, so he has to deal with it. Pffft, why does he always have to be a good catholic...?

Well.

A _decent_ Catholic...

Shut up.

He sighed wiping his head from the sweat that developed there. He used to hate Spain. Mainly because he was just another nation that took control of him, probably because of his grandfather's inheritance. Other than that he was of no real value to anyone, only his brother, Veneziano, was of any use to anyone since he had more talent. Stupid Italian Renaissance. He was surprised when Spain had kept him for this long. He treated him kindly and always tried talking to him, but Romano being Romano, he had to wear a mask in front of him. Being rude and constantly hitting the Spaniard. But honestly, he didn't mind Spain. He had grown to tolerate him and _attempted_ to be nice at times. Why was he so nice to him? Why did he always leave though of he cared about him? Was it all a facade and he actually hates Romano? And why the hell did he always call him a tomato? That man seriously needs help from his obsession with tomatoes..

"Bastard..." he groaned closing his eyes. He decided to let sleep taking over him so he could keep himself from unnecessarily analyzing the situation like he always did. Surely Spain just treated him with kindness because hes just a nice guy? Whatever the case it didn't concern him, he could care less.

At least that's what he tells himself.

–

"Surrender now, damn bastard!" Spain cackled as his sword clashed with his old rival's, England.

"Not on you're life." He responded just as sinister as Spain made himself out to be.

Their swords continued to hit and clank against each other as the two moved fiercely rapidly trying to lay a devastating blow to the other. Spain had decided to sneak attack the Brit on his own land as pay back for what he did to his other ships which held much value to him. He couldn't help but smirk as he remembered calling his men to fire their canons at his home. The way he ran out, shirt half unbuttoned and flying in the air, his pants being put on in haste to find the source of his now half destroyed lodging.

No one told him to live so goddamn close to the sea.

And now here they were, sword fighting again as they seemed to always be doing. He seemed to be content with that, after all England proved to be a rather interesting opponent. He was so much fun to provoke, he makes it to easy.

His thrusted his sword toward the Brits side, missing by a centimeter when he made a move to dodge the attack and in turn swiped his sword towards the Spaniard's head. He quickly moved, barely missing the blade. Blood trickled down from the corner of his eyebrow and he smiled devilishly.

_Oh this is going to be good..._

England was pissed. Perfect. Now it'll be more fun.

They went on, swords clashing, thrusting and dodging for what seemed to last forever. They both had grown tired but continued to battle until one of them caved. Soon England somehow had hit Spain's hand causing him to lose his sword. He kicked him causing him to fall onto the ground and quickly aimed his sword at his neck. The look of pure malice adorned the Brit's face as his was filled with blood-lust. Spain was so sure he was going to stab him until he heard crying.

They both looked to where it came from and were both stunned. Coming from the half-destroyed house was a small boy, smaller than Romano, running out in his dirtied gown. His tiny red ribbon in shreds from the impact of the canons.

"Engwand!" he cried, frightened. Spain wasn't sure who the mysterious boy was but whoever he was, he cause England to quickly leave his position over Spain and ran towards the boy, holding him.

"America, my dear boy!" he held him tightly. They boy cried into his shoulder.

"I was so ascared Engwand! And I got hurt!" he sobbed.

"Oh my dear boy I'm so sorry..."

Spain quickly stood up and he walked away towards his ship. Now that England was per-occupied, their fun had ended so there was no need for him to stay much longer.

For some reason, watching the two of them in such an embrace made him think of Romano. His heart felt lighter as the boy ran across his mind. They never had a relationship like England had with his colony, and he truly wanted to change that.

–

Romano _attempted_ to sweep the house. As a result he broke a vase so now shards laid strewn about causing more of a mess than cleaning. Romano groaned angrily throwing his broom on the ground.

"Gah, damn stupid vase! Why you break?" he stomped kicking the shards and waving the broom in the air like a mad man.

He was so busy with his tantrum that he didn't notice the front door opening, revealing a disheveled Spain. He walked into the room in time to find Romano yelling at the broom as he stomped about at the broke vase.

"Oh my fucking God why does this shit happen? Fuuuck, now I'm gonna get in trouble then I won't be allowed to eat and then I'll die of starvation and then it'll only be Veneziano left and everyone will be 'oh yay finally that kid is dead' and i'll be in heaven all sad and oh my God fuck my life..." the boy kept rambling even as Spain placed a hand on his shoulder. He span around with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.

"Romano..." His voice was low. The events from earlier still leaving him a bit violent and menacing.

Romano shook slightly. Spain wasn't a violent man. Nor did he ever appear as such, but whenever he came back from wherever he went, he always had a sinister aura around him which made Romano nervous.

He's like a fucking pirate or some shit!

"I...I...uh..." Romano stuttered.

"Was that my vase that broke, Roma..?" he asked. It came out much meaner than he intended.

"Ah...I...It was..." He shook more. No he had to be strong. He wasn't going to let Spain be mean to him even it was very out of character for him. "Yea it was...What of it bastardo?" he snapped.

Spain sat there momentarily and watched as Romano clapped his hand to his mouth in shock that he said something like that to his face. Almost immediately, his expression lightened up, getting rid of his dark, soulless one to express concern.

"Oh Roma..." he went to touch Romano's head but he flinched away. Tears pricking at the small boy's eyes. Spain sighed. He always did that to the poor Italian. Whenever he came back from his pirating expeditions he still had his heart cold. It always was like that. Only Romano can make him truly feel happy, even if he was mean to him half the time.

He grabbed the small Italian and held him. "I'm sorry Roma~ I didn't mean to frighten you~"

They remained like that for a bit until Romano saw that he was telling the truth. They cleaned up the shattered vase (what a shame...it was expensive) and sat down to eat tomatoes the Spain had gathered. After a few moments of silence, Romano asked the question that had been bugging him.

"Where do you go, tomato bastard?"

"...Que...?" Spain asked cluelessly.

"Like where the hell do you always go? You like leave and don't come back for 2 weeks." he continued munching on his tomato.

"Ah...well..." he started. "I'm a pirate..." he wasn't sure Romano even knew what that was.

His eyes widened and he stood up. "I fucking knew it!" he smirked.

"You...knew...?"

"Yea well no but yea kinda. I just had a wild guess and then waboom! I'm right!" he laughed evily. (which sounded adorable to Spain.)

"So tell me..." he sat back down. "What do pirates do? Why do they do it?" he asked seriously. Spain rubbed his head unsure of what to say.

"Well... A pirate does what he wants because well...pirates are free!" he grinned. "Free to do what we want!" he stood up triumphantly. "Free to roam the seas! To plunder anything and everything!" his voice grew loud with his enthusiasm. "We do what we want because pirates are free! I am a pirate!" he began saying random key words he and other pirates would say on board his ship to motivate them. "Being a pirate is good as can be!"

Romano watched in astonishment at how dark Spain's eyes went. It must bring the evil out of him.

"What about me?" he asked without thinking.

Spain's dark expression went back to his normal self and looked down at the Italian. "What?"

Romano looked down. "Do you forget about me? When you go out there I mean..." why the hell was he asking such a thing?

Spain pondered for a bit until remembering what had happened earlier. He and England had been in the middle of a battle and the Brit was close to winning, yet he stopped when America came running out crying. He then thought if it had been Romano, he would have done the same thing.

"No." he said finally. "I never forget about you Romano..." he petted the young Italian's head and smiled.

"I would never forget about such a precious treasure."

Romano blushed and punched his gut. "Don't treat me like one your stolen treasures, damn pirate bastard!"

–

**OMG I'm sorry for this fail D: I have never been to good with humor so I bet this is actually quite depressing DX but um yea here it is anyway...so sorry _;**

**reviews still though? please?**

**(btw if you could see what I did here, leave it in a review and see if your right :D)**


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